Independence: emotional and otherwise

07.04.11 // My Mondays

Today I stumbled upon the following two videos.  They focus on some of the same concepts, but in two very different ways.

I think the messages are wickedly important, so hopefully you’ll be able to take some nuggets away with you.


Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re behaving a certain way until we are provided an outsider’s vantage point.  Maybe the following paragraphs taken from The Happiness Habit will open our eyes and minds a bit wider to this concept of “emotional independence” and how intensely it affects our lives.

Many people allow their circumstances, experiences, and external environment to determine their feelings, outlook and moods. When things are going great, they feel great. When things are going poorly, they feel bad.

These people tend to look outside of themselves for sources of happiness: to other people, to exciting experiences, external sources and signs of power, success and prestige. Advertizers and retailers love them.

When things are going great they feel great because their feelings of happiness and well-being are determined by what is happening to them and around them.

To some extent we are all this way. It is not bad or unhealthy to respond emotionally to our environment and experiences. They key is the extent to which we depend upon our external circumstances for happines and the extent to which we let our external circumstances determine our feelings, outlook and mood.

Emotional Independence is very different. Emotional Independence involves concious decisions not to depend upon or rely on our external environment and experiences to define and determine our moods, attitudes, outlooks and perspectives.

We say, enjoy success and triumphs but don’t be dependent upon them for your happiness and well-being.

We found habitually happy people defined themselves, they had clear and compelling ideas of the sort of people they wanted to be and become. Part of their vision and ideals are happiness and spiritual success. They worked to become that happy, spiritually successful person they wanted to be no matter what was happening to them or around them.

Habitually Happy people know how they like to feel. They like to feel good and on top of their game all of the time. They like to be and try to be energized, Up, happy and enthusiastic all of the time.  They continually try to do their best, feel their best and be at their best . This brings them happiness and spiritual success.

They know they are able to perform their best when they are up, energized and happy, so they try to be that way all of the time. This is especially important when they have to deal with dreadful or distasteful disasters. 

They know how to choose their moods and their attitudes and they choose to be happy and spiritually successful practically all of the time. All these are key happiness habits.

Emotional Independence means choosing your mood and attitude and not letting your feelings be soley determined by what is happening to you and what is going on around you. It means not letting outside situations control your feelings. It means enjoying spiritual freedom.

You feel the pain but you don’t let the pain define you or determine how you will respond. Emotional Independence offers spiritual freedom and the freedom to choose responses that are best for you.


Emotional Independence.

So, I ask ya, my little darlings: knowing that life is always going to have its ups and downs to throw at you – are you willing to forfeit control of your happiness to outside forces, or do you want to claim it for your own?

Would you rather be a situationally happy person, or a habitually happy person?

This is a choice that is absolutely within your own control.  Enjoy it for all its worth!


Happy Independence Day!!!


Here’s to you and your own independence . . . :)

with passion & gratitude — jenbish


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